The last three days of the week went so well, I started deluding myself once again that everything was all right and cancer only a bad dream. I ate and digested normally and went to work on Thursday and Friday, not entire days but almost, and while I didn't have the sharpest focus, I was ok to do what I had to do. I went to see the oncologist on Thursday and my family doctor on Friday and ran errands without problem. The doctor said that while my blood values weren't normal yet, they're closer to the normal range than to their lowest values measured four weeks ago. What's not to like?
On Friday afternoon, in keeping with the nutritionist's advice of copious snacking, I ate half a bag of cashews. At night, I all but collapsed again. I can't be absolutely sure it was the cashews but it must have been. Everything else I ate I had already eaten over the course of the past two weeks, and it hadn’t done me no wrong. After the cashews, I spent a night of misery.
I woke up every hour or so, sometimes more frequently, with the need to visit the loo. Diarrhea had struck me hard. My gut was being cleansed as if Gwyneth had provided her detox drinks again. It was all liquid. My gut strained and gurgled, as if liters of water were washing down, though I didn’t drink a thing. By Saturday morning, I was getting a bit concerned but I was too tired to act on it and spent half the day in bed.
By afternoon, things seemed improved. The intervals had lengthened, and I felt up to getting up and going out. It was just in time: a friend had announced his visit for the afternoon. I got to the train station only a couple of minutes late. I felt optimistic again. As a few things before, I’m overcoming this, but when we sat down for dinner later, I could only down plain white rice, and not much of that either.
I spent the next night getting up a few times, with the same symptoms. Diarrhea, an upset digestion, and general fatigue. At one point, out of nowhere and with seemingly no trigger at all, I started vomiting a toxic looking orange liquid. I filled the boy's potty to capacity, and went back to bed.
Today was slightly better, though I spent most of it in bed, too feeble to do much. Whenever I got ambitious, I was taken back down by violent squalls of pain in my gut. This is not something that I experienced after surgery. Where does the pain come from? Right after they removed half my colon and scraped the peritoneum clean, there was soreness inside me and some pain made sense. But now, three weeks later? I’m at a loss.
In my despair I called the hospital, but the emergency triage nurse held me back. The surgeon would be much better placed to help me on Monday, and why don’t I rest the night at home and see how things develop? I’ll call again tomorrow morning, no matter what, because I’m getting slightly concerned here. I’m supposed to start chemotherapy in a week, and I’ve lost most of the weight I’ve put on since the surgery. I’m not exactly at my strongest.
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