Riding nowhere

Today, before dinner, I rode the Severn Stoke time trial course, a ten-mile loop that’s largely flat but ends with a biting climb.  It took me 30 minutes and I pedaled an average of 135 watts.  Yesterday morning, after a leisurely breakfast, I rode another rather flat course, the beach road to Mordialloc in Australia.You will quickly say that this is impossible.  It takes more than a day to fly from Australia to England, never mind the transfers to and from the airports and getting ready for the ride.  You are right.  I...

Riding up

What a wonderful day it was.  It started with fog in the valley but by lunchtime the sun had come out.  We decided to spend the afternoon on the Baldegg, a hill 200 meters above Baden with a witch-themed wooden playground, a restaurant with a big terrace, and stunning views in all directions.  From town, a city bus runs all the way to the top, but I was contemplating the bike.When I had checked out of the hospital after surgery, biking was explicitly forbidden.  On the way out of the hospital after the first chemotherapy session...

First session

My first chemotherapy session is fully over now.  It started on Monday with approximately four hours of transfusions interspersed with explanations and education on potential side effects.  When all the drugs had entered my body, I was sent home with a pump that would squeeze another 120 ml of drugs into my blood over the next two days.  I left the outpatient clinic at the hospital shortly after lunchtime. A pump attached to a port...

Mind games

The worst thing about chemotherapy is the side effects.  No one tires of saying this.  You are given toxins at the maximum dose you are thought capable of not just of surviving but also enduring in a halfway decent shape.  After all, there’s more to come.  The hope is that the concentration of toxins is high enough to kill the cancer or, if this proves impossible, delay its advance.Every patient reacts differently.  During the first chemo session, it’s absolutely unclear what will happen to each one.  Ten per cent...

Chemotherapy

As it’s always good to set out with something positive, here’s the good news.  My red blood cells have recovered.  With a hemoglobin count of 120 g/l and a hematocrit value of 40%, I’m still at the lower end of what’s normal and I won’t win races in the mountains, but I can exercise normally and won’t feel limited.The blood for the test was taken from my finger this morning when I checked in at the outpatient oncology clinic of my favorite hospital.  It was like something out of a Theranos commercial when this hot air balloon was...

Journal club

Some say your chances of surviving cancer are better when you’re educated about your disease.  You can ask the right questions and make better decisions when the doctors give you options.  I know almost nothing about colon cancer, and my understanding of the biochemistry of cancer in general is rather limited as well.  When I was presented with options by the surgeons or oncologists, I went with what they recommended, and when they weren’t forthcoming, I went with what felt right.  (Calling it “gut feeling” certainly doesn’t...

Back to normal

The bad thing with this blog is that I’m more active when I’m in the hospital, with all the time in the world to write.  You must think I’m half dead because you only get to read the bad parts.  For all you know I’m still suffering diarrhea and abdominal pain of unclear origin. Continue reading to find out that this is not the case and be assured that there are only a few bad days that interrupt my life.On Wednesday, I was once again released from the hospital.  I had progressed from liquid food to solids within a couple of days...

Risk factors

Lots of people get cancer.  It’s the leading cause of death in rich countries for males aged between 35 and 70 years, edging out heart disease for the first time in the latest published statistics.  In cancer, your own body, your own cells turn against you, eating you up from inside.  The reasons are not always clear.There are risk factors and there are random events like mutations that allow cells to jump checkpoints and start dividing freely.  It’s generally held that the two have to act in unison or that – in the absence...

Hospital fraud

The night to end my worst weekend in years was even worse than the preceding two days.  I woke up every two hours with excruciating pain in my abdomen.  I went through the by now established bathroom routine, which didn’t help.  I went back to find rest, turning left, turning right - sorry for repeating myself - before ending up where I had started, on my back and in great discomfort.  Eventually, I would fall asleep again.In the morning, I called the emergency ward.  They connected me with the surgeon who had performed...

Weight-loss weekend

The last three days of the week went so well, I started deluding myself once again that everything was all right and cancer only a bad dream. I ate and digested normally and went to work on Thursday and Friday, not entire days but almost, and while I didn't have the sharpest focus, I was ok to do what I had to do. I went to see the oncologist on Thursday and my family doctor on Friday and ran errands without problem. The doctor said that while my blood values weren't normal yet, they're closer to the normal range than to their lowest...

Dead man walking

The consultation started with good news that wasn’t exactly news.  Surgery had been a success.  The primary tumor and all visible metastases are gone.  I am R0.  No residual tumor can be detected.  The oncologist further said that my blood was free of tumor markers.  This was not good news, just an observation.  My blood had been clean even when the tumor was proliferating in my colon.  Yet another sign that my case is a bit unusual.The oncologist was impressed with my progress after surgery and half surprised...

Oncology questions

Today I will be back at the hospital for the first time in nearly two weeks.  The oncologist will update me on my condition and probably also outline a schedule for chemotherapy.  It's good to talk; I'm quite confused about this cancer.  To get some clarity, I have prepared a number of questions that I'll take with me to stimulate the discussion. What caused the colon wall cells to run amok?  Were any mutations found in tumor suppressor genes, kinases, etc.?→ There are no mutations specific to hereditary colon cancers. ...

Gaining weight

I can feel progress.  Sometimes on some days I feel almost 100% normal.  I am full of energy, think clearly, walk around with a purpose.  The bathroom scale shares my optimism.  It’s getting very close to giving me a big 6 in return for my efforts with the calories.  Life is good.Then there are other times.  I tend to lie down after meals.  My body complains when I skip the rest.  From time to time, about once a day but sometimes more often, a piercing pain burns through my gut.  This must have something...

Cold heart

I have often been accused of being emotionally challenged, of having no feelings or at least not knowing how to show them.  These accusations didn’t exactly miss their mark.  I’m not one for excessive enthusiasm or despair, and I don’t like to get carried away.  I don’t worry about what’s outside my control.  The only time I get nervous is when I speak without good preparation in front of an audience.  This is why I asked few questions during scientific talks.Sometimes I wish I were more in touch with my feelings, more...

Best wishes

So far, very few people know what I’m going through.  With this blog, I might have revealed my battle with cancer to the world, but I have told hardly anyone about it, and the link is not obvious.  The blog hasn’t gone viral.  Readership is probably limited to those few close friends going back years and decades with whom I have shared the news and the blog’s URL.  They deserve to know and to have a chance to follow my journey – as closely as they choose.At work, only my boss and HR know.  As my prolonged absence due to...

Hitting a low

I had spent the weekend in great and possibly misguided optimism.  The last two days in the hospital were relaxing, pleasant and painless.  I was fed, rested in bed, read, and walked around the gardens.  I was thinking of returning to work and traveling.  There was no indication anywhere for any negativity.The exit interview, if that’s what it’s called, with one of the surgeons took my spirits down a notch already.  She shook her head in pity when I asked about working and gave me a two-week sick note.  Then she grounded...