Pain threshold

After watching the first two episodes of Last Dance, the hagiographic documentary on Michael Jordan, I’m pumped enough to masquerade as the Michelin Man.  MJ always goes for the win, doesn’t see losing as an option, doesn’t give up, and sees obstacles as parts of a training course that helps him get even better.I’ve encountered my share of obstacles over the last eight months.  Most I’ve ignored away.  Some came flying in my face and left me dumbfounded for a while.  They’re still as big as they were when they first hit me. ...

Breaking the fast

Fasting is hard, though it gets easier with time.  The third day was once again easier than the second.  I felt no pain or hunger, and managed to focus on work.  I thought of food a lot but mostly in a hypothetical way.  It didn’t distract me too much.  This started to change in the afternoon.  The last couple of hours, when the nuts in my backpack were beckoning, stretched uncomfortably long.Breaking the fast is also hard.  Muslims celebrate this every night during Ramadan with feasts of dates, tajines and lots...

Hunger returns

Do they say that the second day is the worst?  They should.  The second day of fasting is substantially harder than the first.  The temptations of food lurk everywhere, especially if you go grocery shopping, which I did to have something to do over lunch.  I was very close to breaking the fast on many occasions.  The nuts I bought are for tomorrow, but I almost ripped the pack open today.  If I can trust the experience of the first fasting session, tomorrow will be easier.The question of why I am doing this came to...

Fasting and sugar

It’s been eight days since my last post.  Nothing of note has happened in the intervening days.  My health is stable; I’m feeling good.  Eating normally over the previous ten days has restored my weight.  Everything is set up perfectly to bolster my delusion that everything is all right.Everything is not all right, which is why I’m starting my second episode of finite fasting tonight.  After a dinner of asparagus and mint risotto with beer (because someone forgot to bring white wine up from the basement and put it in the...

Lights on

After a barrage of posts earlier this week, when I was getting into the various options of continuing the battle against the cancer, it’s been oddly quiet for the last few days.  After the cliffhanger of the imminent visit to the specialist in Zurich, some might be wondering about updates.  Did the specialist have anything creative to share?  Does he expect a breakthrough?  The cliffhanger continues.On Friday morning, I picked up a new projector to replace the one that stopped working six weeks ago.  The old one suffered...

Free to eat

Today was not nearly as bad as yesterday.  It’s amazing how well one can endure several days of fasting,  Today, I felt stronger than yesterday and was more lucid.  My legs hurt a bit, as if my body was chopping down the protein in muscles to use as energy, but I achieved more during a day of home office than the previous day.  It was the third day without any calories, but I wasn’t hungry.  I frequently thought of food, though.For lunch, I went for a walk.  It took me to town and to a budget grocery store where I...

Day two

I didn’t ride the trainer tonight, even though Tuesday is the day for it.  It’s not that I’m lazy.  It’s also not that I’ve ridden through the woods this afternoon.  I didn’t even ride to work.  I stayed at home all day.  The reason I don’t feel like exercise is that I haven’t eaten in 48 hours.  I’m not at my best, and too weak for exercise.I didn’t have many expectations when I started fasting after dinner on Sunday.  I thought I’d be hungry, but that’s the only thing that hasn’t happened yet.  I guess...

Starving the cancer

I’ve now managed to read the review I mentioned in the previous post.  As I said, this is about the benefits of restricting various nutrients during cancer therapy.  The authors acknowledge periodic fasting (as outlined in the previous post) but think it’s of little use because cancer patients are often frail and won’t withstand the rigors of fasting.  An obvious alternative, periodic low-calorie and low-protein feeding results in a similar anti-cancer effect to that of prolonged fasting.  This caloric restriction has been popularized...

Food and cancer

A recent article in Cell showed that broccoli and related vegetables such as cauliflower and cabbage contain chemicals called glucosinolates that bacteria in the human gut turn into isothiocyanates, compounds with protective effects against certain cancers.  That’s of no use to me obviously.  I already have cancer, despite having been a happy eater of broccoli for ages.  Maybe I lack the bacterium whose enzymes perform the chemical reaction.  It’s called Bacteroides thetaiotaomicron, and if you have a hard time reading the name,...

Hard to believe

I’ve lived the last few days in a bit of a daze.  The meaning of the PET-CT result is sinking in.  My flight has been called.  The final departure is not far off.  My defenses are wearing thin.  I don’t exactly know where I will find additional strength for another fight.  Surgery is not an option, said the oncologist.  Chemotherapy doesn’t seem to cut it.  My cancer is stronger than what they injected in me, and all they can think of is doing it again.  It’s a terrifying prospect.I try to keep up appearances. ...

Taking charge

It would be fair to say that my body failed me.  Despite the reasonably good care I took of it and without any familial predisposition, it let a few cells loose, letting them proliferate in my gut and then, when this had reached its limit, run wild inside me.  Now it’s out of control.  This sounds like the beginning of an exciting story, but without people, no one will read it.It would be unfair to say that my doctors failed me, but that’s certainly one way of looking at it.  They failed to treat my disease successfully. ...

Madness

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is a sure sign of madness.  Repeating almost the same chemotherapy on a cancer that has shown refractory to it seems to me to fall into the same category.  Still, what can I do?  Doing nothing is not an option.  It won’t give better results – which might now need to be measured in months or years and not survivorship or not.  Jumping off a bridge is not an option either.  I would be throwing away too much.The clinical study that adds methadone...